Pula Means Rain // A Story of Blessing
I woke on Thursday with an expectant feeling in my heart. After coming to the conclusion that my deepest desires were not a danger to my intimacy with God but actually a vulnerable path into it, I finally and fully embraced them. I allowed myself to feel them deeply and be broken under the weight of them. As an Enneagram Four (I hope to write about this one day), emotions are a powerful force in my life. I am spiritually wired in such a way that I am intensely sensitive to and aware of my own feelings, the shape and aesthetic of every emotion, and I have a hard time feeling anything "lightly". I am drawn to the height and depth of every feeling like a magnet. I knew very well that letting those hopes run wild through my prayers would be a fury, a whirlwind, and I would be left exhausted. But I also knew I would burst trying to contain them and that I had to trust God with my heart, so I begged and cried and then said Amen and washed my face. All day
